You’re so fat
You would never say that up front to another human would you?
But for some reason, saying it to you, every day is ok.
I’m talking about self-fat shaming. You probably do it at some level, we all do – it’s just that we don’t usually recognize it as it takes many forms. Today I’m going to share with you 3 ways that you’re self-fat shaming without even realizing it and some tips on how to deal with it.
Comparing and Getting Jealous
If you really get to the nitty-gritty of this, if you’re comparing (as opposed to admiring) that means there is an implied imbalance in superiority and inferiority. In other words, “I wish I had her body” means, “I wish I had any other body that wasn’t mine”. Jealousy just takes it next level when we start being negative towards that person.
We can use jealousy and comparison to our benefit in lots of ways; you just have to let go of the shamey-ness of it all to see the messages.
Jolly Jokester
Laughing things off and dismissing the pain of how you feel is affirming that there must be something you’re ashamed of in the first place. We won’t get into psych 101 over it – but just see where you might joke about your body and then ask yourself if you like the thing you just joked about.
Making everything about your weight.
“I can’t [get a date/job/promotion/go to the gym/nightclub/…. Insert yours here] because I’m too fat”. Blame and shame go hand in hand at a psychological level. But let’s just keep it simple with an example – if you are blaming your weight for not going out in public it’s because you’re ashamed to be seen out. Find me another reason, I dare ya. “I’m too fat to go out in public because the sidewalks don’t cater for me?” Whatever.
And then of course, there are the tons of ways that we do realize we’re shaming ourselves – like calling ourselves names or making up shame days like Thunder Thighs Thursday (yes, someone actually has done that).
Team, What are we going to do about this!?
Look guys, I do it to myself and I’ve seen other trainers talk about it also, so we’re in this together. There’s enough shaming of any sort going on in the world today to add our own self-shaming to it. Who’s with me?
Step 1 – What does this fat represent for you?
Whatever it means, it means that’s the clue to your shaming. Does it mean you can’t be active with the kids? Does it mean you’re all hot and sweaty when you arrive at your office? Does it mean more about finding love than it does about being slim AND finding love? What does it REALLY mean for you?
Step 2 – Focus on THAT.
Focus on health, finding love, creating a better career opportunity for yourself, lowering your cholesterol; developing a better relationship with food and yourself! When you focus on those things you find that your nutrition, exercise, and weight shifts in accordance. It’s not magic though, it’s just putting your focus in the places that will give you the REAL results you’re looking for.
Step 3 – Keep practicing
Those old patterns will sneak in, but it’s your responsibility to keep stepping up to yourself and putting your focus in the right place.
Step 4 – Get help where needed
Sometimes sitting inside your own head just gets you a little more confused, if you need help with resilience, physical and mental strength and learning how to respect, nurture and love yourself WHILE you get fit and healthy make sure you ask for it!
Step 5 – Get the right help
It’s like saying #4 twice, but not really. If you unfortunately got the wrong help at step 4, try not to re-shame yourself into that “I’m a failure place”. Just keep doing your research and trying something else that resonates.
The name of the game is feeling good hey? Self-shame doesn’t feel good, so lets get out there and do something about strengthening up these minds while create the body that gives us what we REALLY want!
Want some help working out what is right for you? We can help, get in touch by applying for a free success session (click here) and we’ll help you work through it.