There’s no denying we all love a reward right?
But how often have you said or heard someone say, “I can have a chocolate bar because I worked out” or “I’ve been so good all week, I deserve a reward”.
It is actually part of human nature to seek reward, it is an inbuilt part of us, that drives us towards getting what we want, but also what we need. Sex is pleasurable and so is food…it just so happens that they are two of the primary functions of a human; to eat enough food for survival and to survive long enough to reproduce.
Reward ensures the survival of our species.
But reward can work against us when we look for rewards just because we looked after ourselves. Does that make sense? We’ve fallen into a trap that has us believing looking after ourselves with healthy and food and movement is something that needs a reward. In other words, it’s not enjoyable enough in itself to be it’s own reward, so we do something that isn’t good for us to tell ourselves job well done.
What if we could just get to the end of the day and simply feel rewarded for taking good care of ourselves? What if simply being proud of yourself and happy with yourself and how good you feel was enough? Do we really need to chase MORE reward?
Feeling rewarded and receiving a reward are two entirely different things. Giving yourself a reward for being ‘good’ all week is nice, but did you actually feel rewarded over what you did this week or did you feel the reward of the treat food instead? When we eat things that are high in fat/salt & sugar, or drink alcohol it stimulates a release of dopamine – our reward chemical! So now, your body and mind has attached reward to the treat … not to what you achieved. The treat stimulated the reward chemicals from your brain, not the thing you achieved.
And this is where reward can go wrong. When an animal in the wild is chasing prey, Dopamine is raised as a motivator to keep chasing, when the animal is caught, Dopamine is still released as a way of telling the hunter “good job, if you continue to hunt like that you will be rewarded”
But when we look after our bodies and ignore the feel good chemicals that come from doing that there is no motivating signals that tell us to do it again. Instead, we’ll only do it again, if there is the promise of a reward at the end of the day or the week.
So the better way to reward yourself and therefore motivate yourself is to find the reward in what you are doing, the meal prep, clean eating, working out, reducing stress etc. I know a friend who writes in her diary about how she celebrates pooping 2x a day, that she did a workout and that she feels good for doing those things. She doesn’t look for rewards for eating well and exercising – her body is producing rewards for her all day, which she is acknowledges.
Then we can treat ourselves because we genuinely want the treat, not because we are looking for a quick reward for doing good by our bodies.
Now that you’ve promised yourself you’re going to FEEL reward and not just GET reward, I have a cute 7 day Reward Challenge for you.
Starting Monday, pop $1 in an envelope, on Tuesday $2, Wednesday $3, Thursday $4, Friday $5, Saturday $6, Sunday $7. By the end of the week you will have $28, and that’s enough to get you towards a decent reward.
Keep going for 14 days ($28 + $8 + $9 + $10 + $11 + $12 + $13 + $14) and you’ll end up with $105.
Now we’re REALLY feeling rewarded! Not only did we look after ourselves, but we saved money (another achievement) and we can go and do something way better than just eating chocolate at the end of the day for a reward.
What could you do with $105? Spa Treatment? Date Night? New Handbag or Clothes? Think about how rewarding something like this would feel compared to those smaller rewards you think you need!
So there ya go team, the art of rewarding. Make it something special and for those daily rewards, see if you can feel it, instead of buying it!